name:sean ko
teacher:kevin
it is for practicing writing!
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I am seeing a bagel
It was bought from a street vender
It is really tasteless
I threw bagel in a garbage basket on the street
Ah...
I've forgotten a meaning of my life since sometimes
actually I did not know meaning of life from beginning
I just have lived to depend stream of society
every face looks faint like fog
everything is fog to me
I am floating in that fog
sometimes I've left home without reason
from a house with roaches
It is a mysterious thing when I saw a roach which moved in
darkness
how?
they have desire to live?
but maybe it is a crazy who live happily with roaches
someone said to me
nothing is the teaching of Tao
According to their teaching I am a very good student
Because I live without object, will, desire in dirty city
I can't find my reason of life
But also I don't have the reason of death
"...."
I am gazing at the sky without reason
"Shwaaa.."
It is falling rain in autumn
My body that was cold by wind is warming by rain
I have stood for a while in rain
How thankful
Rain teaches me with that contact that I am alive
Because sometimes I forgot that I am alive
Sometimes I've heard meaningless class in school
Of course actually It is not meaningless
There is a lot of many time of laughing, and witty answer
Also I laughed, sometimes and asked something
But it is just a change on my face
If someone laughs fakely, at that time eyes do not move
But until now nobody ask me "why are you laughing?
even if you don't find anything funny?"
Often laughing is a social skill
If you don't want alone in some group
You can just laugh when others are laughing
You can just weep when others are weeping
It is easy
As school ends my face returns to emtionlessness
and then the day recycles without change
"hello"
"!"
someone touches my world that is filled with fog
slightly unpleasant
I don't like my body that returns to the real world
Just don't bother me!
but my face talks and smiles
"Hello?"
"We are from church, we have bagels and coffee, You can
enjoy it. God love You"
"Ah... thanks"
I take the bagel and coffee that bright young woman gave me
And after two blocks
I threw it in garbage can
When I threw the coffee it struck and the spilled coffee is
making white steam
I go my own way without any feeling
On street one of the pigeons has died; it was struck by a car
It is like paint which is copied from the 3rd dimension
The pigeon is sticking like wall painting
Rain has stopped and sun has started to shine
This time is most beautiful
The scene, shine slays my lovely rain
That beautiful shine destroys my world where I can contact
The rain by warming, light but dryness
Before I knew it mothers go out with their children in a park
Maybe here is a village where Chinese,Indian and
Japanness live
But children are innocent
Strangely there are tears in my eyes when I have seen
those children
........
that night
I am sitting in bed my dark room
Sometimes I touched the wall
Sometimes I pick up the phone
"GGiikk"
it is certainly that ugly, fat, disgusting woman lives
next to my room.
She has a little burned skin and she is fat in her whole body,
her voice is like man
She always wears sunglasses.well..
It is a little ridiculous She likes to wear black pants, and golden
bracelet
I cover my ear by my hand in silence
"Bumm"
As I expected the door closes with a large noise
She always close the the door loudly
While is silience
This time I heard the sound of the kid who lives in the front room
playing
A spanish family lives there, There are three kids
Sometimes I meet the husband in the hallway,
He is a smart guy but he is not yet thirty
I wonder why he is still young but has three children
But after I heard some Spanish married very early I understood
I turn on the T.V
A small square sends out light and sound in darkness
There is Cartoon, "South Park", on channel 11
One kid plays with fire then he is burned on it, goes to hospital
But he dies so...
I wake up thinking "maybe there is are more story"
Before I knew it morning came in
I slept on the couch insensibly
...
I have a shower and prepare to go to school
Cold air,it looks as if autumn has already gone
Autumn is getting short
But autumn ought to give me time to prepare for winter
It is cold
Wind is blowing coldly
Everyone wears thick clothes
In my case I wear just blue jeans and a white T-shirt
I pass a way filled with pigeon excrement
There is a picture from a public night club on the way
with naked women who say," it is natural people are naked!"
Gazed foward with a sexy look
"Ruslte"
I step past that picture and walk
"Ah..."
So it is there on the right side
I can see steam in the cold air
All people walk up and down with some stuff
"Hello, God loves You"
Unintentionally, I get a bagel
Actually, I am also hungry
I bite the bagel
I feel the taste of the shapeless and chewy bagel and sweet
cream chees,
"delicious"
I bite again and drink coffee
Coffee is mild and deep, and warm
The pigeons are a lighting to eat pieces of bagel.