Thursday, April 24, 2014

work from Guillermo Paris And Lin Sang


 (new version)



1.What is the disadvantage of ESOL?

The disadvantage is that she is separated from the other students. And she can't takes other classes out of the ESOL. The only class that she can share is the art class.

2. The students on the soccer team are from many countries. What are some of the countries they and their families come from?

They and their family come from Pakistan ,El Salvador, Guatemala, AND Honduras.

 3.Who is Ginette Cain?

She is director of the ESOL program.

4.Where is Amalia Raymundo from? When did she come to the United States ?

She is from Guatemala and she came to THE United States 18 months ago.

5.Why does Amalia prefer school in her home country?

Because OF the language .

6. Ginette Cain talks about teaching world history. What is difficult about teaching this subject?

The difficult  about teaching this subject is the vocabulary because the vocabulary is different FROM the vocabulary in the Cafeteria.

(original)

1.What is the disadvantage of ESOL?
The disadvantage is that she is separated from the other students. And she can't takes other classes out of the ESOL. The only class that she can share is the art class.
2. The students on the soccer team are from many countries. What are some of the countries they and their families come from?
They and their family come from Pakistan ,El Salvador, Guatemala, HONDURAS.
 3.Who is Ginette Cain?
She is director of the ESOL program.
4.Where is Amalia Raymundo from? When did she come to the United States ?
She is from Guatemale and she came to United States 18 months ago.
5.Why does Amalia prefer school in her home country?
Because the language .
6. Ginette Cain talks about teaching world history. What is difficult about teaching this subject?
The difficult is about teaching this subject is the vocabulary because the vocabulary is different to the vocabulary in the Cafeteria.
Maria Catalina ,Thitima Techawanich and Juan Felipe Sierra


(new version)

The students  are from many countries and came to America for study, but when they got here
for them it was so complicated because they don't know the native language and they have to keep studying  the high school.They have to learn English faster to continue their studies.
For example, Amalia Raymundo is from Guatemala and she came to the United States 18 months ago, and her dream is to start the University in this country, but it is difficult until she learns English very well.




 (original)

The students  are from many countries come to America for study but when they coming to here
for them is so complicated because they doesn't know the native language
and they have to keep studying  the high school.They have to learn English faster for continue your studies.
For example Amalia Raymundo is from Guatemala and she come to the United States 18 months ago, and her dream is start the University in this Country, but is difficult until that her Learning English very well.

 

Yolanda.Lucy


(new version)


My name is Yolanda and my PARTNER's name is Lucy.

1.- Peru, Honduras, Pakistan, Afghanistan, France, America.

2.-Amalia came from Guatemala 18 months ago.

3.- Only one arts class.

4.- To be a doctor. But she wants to quit the school to work WITH her mother cleaning APARTMENTS.

5.-They ARE SEPARATED from other students WHO WERE born here.


 (original)

My name is Yolanda and my parthers name is Lucy.
1.- Peru, Honduras, Pakistan, Afghanistan, France, American.
2.-Amalia came from Guatemala 18 months ago.
3.- Only one arts class.
4.- To be a doctor. But she wants to quitt the school to work whit her mother cleaning aparments.
5.-They separate from other students they born here.


Flavio y Claudia


 (new version)


We ARE thinking about the highschool class video. IT SHOWS the situation when the International students come here to United States.

The college meets many students FROM the different countries and the most are Latin people.

In the video, THEY explain the story OF Amalia Raymundo. She is a YOUNG Latin WHO IS learnING English in the program ESOL.

Some people have trouble LEARNING English because the new students are separated from the other native students.

We conclude that for learnING English the International students have TO practice with THEIR NATIVE partners.


(original version)

We thinking about the highschool class video, It's show the situation when the International Students come here to United States.

The college meets many students to the different countries and the most are latin people.

In the video, explain the story to Amalia Raymundo. She is a latin young that find the highschool finish and learn English in the program ESOL.

Somepeople have trouble for learn English because the new students are separated from the other native students.

We conclude that for learn English the International students have practice with your partner's native.


DIANA PULIDO AND FRANCISCO AVILES

(new version)



ABOUT ESOL

The ESOL PROGRAM in this school has  many students of DIFFERENT countries, for example Peru, Guatemala, Honduras, Pakistan, etc. They live in THE  suburbs OF Virginia. Ginnete Cain, ESOL Director OF Cecil D. Hylton High School, said that IT IS really important FOR  the studentS TO receive the degreeS.

Amanda Raimundo, ESOL, student, THINKS THIS program is very difficult because the LANGUAGE is not easy. THIS HAS advantages  because she knowS other people and disadvantages because only seven classes ARE only English and the other classES ARE separate FROM American students.

She wants TO finish here AND return TO her country because the dream is TO study TO BE A doctor. She workS here with her mother cleanING house.

(original version)

ABOUT ESOL

The ESOL PROGRAM in this school has  many students of diferents countries for example Peru, Guatemala, Honduras, Pakistan, etc. They live in  suburbs Virginia. Ginnete Cain ESOL Director to CECIL D. HYLTON HIGH SCHOOL, she  said that really important the student receive the degree.

For Amanda Raimundo ESOL student she thing about this program is very difficult because the languaje is not easy, this has  advantages  because she know other people and disadvantages because only seven classes is only english and the other class they separate of american students.

She wants finish here y return her country because the dream is study Doctor. She work here with her mother clean house.

Nuttharin and Carmen

(new version)


This school HAS many people from different countrIES, for example: Peru, Afghanistan, South America, etc.They LIVE in Suburban Virginia. Ginette Cain is the director of ESOL at Cecil D. Hylton High School.
Amalia Raymundo is a student. She is from Guatemala. She CAME to the USA 18 monthS ago and speakS Spanish.She studIES IN THE ESOL program in High School. Amalia preferS school in her country because HER native language IS SPOKEN THERE, but she HAS BEEN learning English. Amalia said the advantage of ESOL classes is THAT the teacher explainS everything and the disadvantage is THAT the students to North America are separatEd from the other studentS, so she DOESN'T practice all day. Amalia haS only one class with native English speaking student.She wantS to be a doctor.




 (original version)

This school have many people from different country for example: Peru, Afghanistan, South America, etc.They are live in Suburban Virginia. Ginette Cain is the director of ESOL at CECIL D.HYLTON HIGH SCHOOL.
Amalia Raymundo is a student, she is from Guatemala. She come to the USA 18 month ago and speak Spanish.She study ESOL program in High School. Amalia prefer school in her country because it speak native language, but she have learning English.Amalia said the advantage of ESOL classes is the teacher explain everything and the disadvantage is the students to north America are separation from the other student, so she didn't practice all day. Amalia have only one class with native English speaking student.She want to be a doctor.

Borirach Tiraphairoj and Nattaly Figueira



(new version)


What is ESOL?

ESOL is the name Georgia has given to its program for teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. 
What is a disadvantage of ESOL?

Difficulty in communication. Students DON'T converse in English with others from different countries.

Who is Ginette Cain? What does she say about immigration?
  
Ginette Cain is ESOL Director OF Cecil D. Hylton Itigh School.

Where is Amalia Raymundo from? When did she come to the U.S.A.?

She is from Guatemala and she has BEEN in THE  U.S.A. FOR 18 MONTHS.

Why does Aamalia prefer school in her home country?

  Because she speaks in her language.

Ginette Cain talks about teaching world history. What is difficult about teaching this subject?

THE MOST DIFFICULT is the vocabulary, because IT is different FROM IN the cafeteria.

How many classes does Amalia have with native English speaking students?

Only one.

Leon Peng is from China. What is a stereotype he says some students have about him?

He said that the people Chinese are very smart.

What is Amalia's dream? Why does she think about quitting school?

Amalia wantS TO study TO BE a Doctor, but here she has TO clean house with her mother.


(original version)


What is ESOL?

ESOL is the name Georgia has given to its program for teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. 
What is a disadvantage of ESOL?

difficulty in communication, students not converse in English with others from different countries.

Who is Ginette Cain? What does she say about immigration?
  
Ginette Cain is ESOL Director Cecil D. Hylton Itigh School

Where is Amalia Raymundo from? When did she come to the U.S.A.?

She is from Guatemala and she has 18 month in U.S.A.

Why does Aamalia prefer school in her home country?

  Because she speaks in her language.

Ginette Cain talks about teaching world history. What is difficult about teaching this subject?

More difficulty is the vocabulary, because is different to the cafeteria.

How many classes does Amalia have with native English speaking students?

Only one.

Leon Peng is from china. What is a stereotype he says some students have about him?

He said that the people Chinese are very smart.

What is Amalia's dream? Why does she think about quitting school?

Amalia want study a Doctor, but here she has clean house with her mother.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


Here is some vocabulary to talk about. 





A. Rural (country)


Do you like the country? Talk about the picture.

http://miriadna.com/preview/countryside-splendor-%28france%29

B. Urban (city)

Do you like the city? Talk about the picture. 

http://cdn.frontpagemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/New-York-City-Skyline.jpg

C. Suburbs(near a city)

Do you like the suburbs? Talk about the picture. 

http://www.miss-design.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/BEmwU.jpg


Which is rural? urban? suburbs?

Brooklyn

Manhattan

New Jersey

Paris

Long Island



In your life, which (rural, urban, suburban) have you lived in? 


Where would you like to live in the future: rural, urban or suburban? Why? 


We're going to watch a video about a U.S. highschool. 

Now please ask your partner these questions. You should talk. 


1. Where did you go to highschool? When? 


1.25. Was it a big or small school?


1.33. Did you like it? Explain.



1.5. Do you remember the school building? What color was  it? How many floors were there?


1.75. Were there windows  in the classrooms?  Can you tell me if there were...

2. Did you like highschool? Why or why not? 



3. Were you a good student? Why or why not? 

4. What was your  favorite subject? 



5. What subject was most difficult for you?



6. Were you in a club?  (for example, singing club,  chess club, school newspaper)?


6.5. What sports did you play? 

6.66. What time did school begin and end every day? 


6.90. Did you have a lot of friends?

6.95. Was it co-educational (boys and girls) or just boys (or just girls)?

7. How many students were in your class? 

8. Were the teachers strict? 

9. Did you have a favorite teacher?  Tell me about him or her. 


10. Did you call the teacher by his or her  first name or did you say Mr. or Mrs....?

11. Did you have a lot of friends in highschool?

12. Were there students from different countries 
in your highschool?

13.  What did you do in your free time when 
you were a highschool student?


14. How are schools in your country different from schools in the U.S.?


In the U.S. there are students from different countries. Do you think 
it is a good idea to teach them in their first language or in English 
right away? 

Juan Sierra and my partner Beer

Chaikaew,

Thanks for writing about your partner, Valeria. You come from two hometowns that are very far from each other, but both have some similarities, for example climate.

I have written a new version of your introduction. When you have time (why not now?), you should look at it and learn from the changes.

(new version)



Hi, my name is Chaikaew Nuttharin, and my partner's name is Valeria.

The name of my hometown is Thailand, and my partner's hometown is Mexico.

(note: Thailand and Mexico are countries. A hometown is a city or state or village.  For example, I am from the United States, but my hometown is New York. 

She told me that the population in her hometown is Mariachi. It's a form of folk music from there. The population in my hometown is about to Buddhist temples.

(note: "population" means the number of people. For example, the population of New York City is about 8,000,000. I think the right words for your sentences are "popular thing":

She told me that a popular thing in her hometown is Mariachi. It's a form of folk music from there.  Popular things (plural) in my hometown are Buddhist temples (plural, more than one). 



(original  version)

Hi, my name is Chaikaew Nuttharin. and my partner's name is Valeria.

The name of my hometown is Thailand, and my partner's hometown is Mexico.

She told me that the population in her hometown is Mariachi. It's a form of folk music from there. The population in my hometown is about to Buddhist temples.




Friday, April 18, 2014

people and places



What do your mother and father do? (My father is a salesman and my mother is a pro wrestler)

Where do they live (They live in Los Angeles).

How old are they (My mother is 45 and my father is 80).

Are your parents strict or lenient (My father is lenient, but my mother is very strict).

What was your favorite subject in highschool and why? (My favorite subject was art because my friends were in class with me)

Why did you come to New York? (I came to New York to study for a new career as a social psychologist).

How long do you plan to stay in  New York (I'm going to stay here until I finish my education. If I find a good job or start a family, I may stay here forever.

What do you think of New York? ( I like New York, but it is a little crowded for me)

What's your favorite place in the world and why?  (My favorite place in the world is my bed because it is peaceful).

Do you text while you are walking? (I sometimes text while I am walking, but I always text while I am driving)


Now please use the questions to write a very short introduction to your partner on the blog.
telcstudentsandteacher.blogspot.com

WAIT, PLEASE. First, read this.

Write about your partner, not about yourself.


For example, begin this way: 

I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Martha. Her mother is a dentist and her father is a designer of umbrellas. Her mother is 38 years old and her father is 72...


DON'T CLICK YET, PLEASE. Read...

the blog is at www.telcstudentsandteacher.blogspot.com



When you go to the blog, do this:


click on SIGN IN on the top right

user name is: telcblogger@yahoo.com
password is: easytoremember

click on NEW POST and write about your partner

When you finish click PUBLISH

if you can’t finish now, click SAVE.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Maria Catalina and Francisco,

Thanks for posting your writing. If you read below, you will see the same paragraph as you wrote, but with some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS.

Your grammar is mostly correct. There are some spelling errors.


Maria Catalina and Francisco (with changes)

My partner is Francisco. HIS parents LIVE in Medellin. Hir father and HIS mother are traders. HIS father is 63 years old and HIS mother is 56 years old. HIS parents are very strict. The favorite subject in HIS highschool was gym because he DID A LOT OF  exerCise. Francisco came to New York for learning English and to work. Hir plan is stay in New York for A long time, maybe forever. HE likeS New York for ITS big BUSINESS and opportunities. HIS favorite place in the world is HIS house because IT is HIS place TO rest. And Francisco sometimes textS while walking.



Maria Catalina and Francisco (original)

My partner is Francisco, hir parents living in Medellin. Hir father and hir mother are traders. Hir fathers is 63 years old and hir mother is 56 years old. Hir parents are very strict. The favorite subject in hir highschool was gym because he has that make very exersise. Francisco came to New York for learning English and to work. Hir plan is stay in New York for long time, maybe forever. Her like New York for your big bussines and opportunities. Hir favorite place in the world is hir house because is hir place for rest. And Francisco sometimes text while walking.




Francisco and Juan Felipe,

Your writing is interesting. Your parents have interesting jobs. Please look at the new version of your writing below. I have made some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS.

(new version)


JUAN'S parents LIVE in Bogota. The father is A police officer and his mother is AN English teacher. His father is 41 years old and his mother is 42 years old.His father is very strict and his mother is very sweet. JUAN'S favorite subject in  the school was music. He came to New York  TO  study English. HE WILL stay in New York until HE FINISHES HIS education. HE LIKES New York because IT is a big city.




-------

(original version)

Francisco Aviles and Juan Felipe Sierra.

Juanes parents lives in Bogota.The father is Police officer and his mother is English teacher.His father is 41 years old and his mother is 42 years old.His father is very strict and his mother is very sweet.Juan favorite subject in  the school was music.He came to New York  for study English.Hi stay in New York until hi finish yours education.Hi like New York because is a big city.





Thitima,

Your partner, Rina, the new student in our class, has a lot to contribute. So do you. Thanks for writing. 

Please read the new version of your writing I have posted below. It has some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. 


(new version)

 Hello, I'm Thitima. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Riny. Her mother is a housewife and her father has A FOOD MARKETING business. Her mother is 44 years old and her father is 54. Her father and her mother are lenient. Her favorite subject was SOCIOLOGY (or SOCIAL SCIENCE) because she WANTS to connect to her people. She came to New York to study English and DOES NOT HAVE a plan to stay in New York. She LIKES New York and she THINKS New York is A good city. Her  favorite place in the world is her home in her country,Indonesia. She sometimes TEXTS while she is walking and RIDING A motoRcycle.


----    
(original version)

   Hello, I'm Thitima. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Riny. Her mother is a housewife and her father has business about Food market. Her mother is 44 years old and her father is 54. Her father and her mother are lenient. Her favorite subject was social because shewant to connect to her people. She came to New York to study English and do not has a plan to stay in New York. She like New York and she think New York is good City. Her  favorite place in the world is her home in her country,Indonesia. She sometimes text while she is walking and ride motocycle.

TATIANA ZAMUDIO AND JENIFFER PENA



Jeniffer and Tatiana,

Thanks for the writing about Tatiana. Her favorite subject is literature. That's great. Now she reads books- maybe in her favorite place,  her grandmother's bed. Maybe in the future she will write books. Maybe she has already written some.

Please look at my NEW VERSION of your writing below. There are some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS.


NEW VERSION:


I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Tatiana. Her mother is A treasury coordinator and his father is IN CHARGE OF cleaning of beaches. Her mother is 53 years old and HER father 52 years old. HER parents are strict. HER favorite subject is literature because she likes reading many books. She came to New York to study ENGLISH FOR a new career. She is going to stay here until SHE finishES HER education.  If SHE FINDS a good job or startS a family, SHE may stay here forever. She likeS New York but  is living away. HER  favorite place in the world is HER grandmother'S bed because IT is the place perfect FOR HER. She sometimes textS while she is walking.


----

(original version)


I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Tatiana. Her mother is treasury coordinator and his father is cleaning of beaches. Her mother is 53 years old and his father 52 years old. Your parents are strict. Your favorite subject is literature because she likes reading many books. She came to New York to study a new career as English. She is going to stay here until finish you education.  If you find a good job or start a family, you may stay here forever. She like New York but bat is living away. You favorite place in the world is the grandmother bed because is the place perfect to she. She sometimes text while she is walking.

Carmen Vergara

Carmen,

Thanks for writing about your partner Lucy, who has traveled around the world. Her ideas about New York are informed by experiences of many other places.

Please take a look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. It has some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. See the differences and learn from them.



(new version)


My classmate's name is Luci Martinez. She is from Peru. Her mother is dead and her father is retired.
HER father liveS in Peru. Her father is 94 years old.Her father is very lenient. HE IS ALWAYS peaceful.

HER favorite subject was history because she likeS KNOWING about the history OF her country.  She CAME to New York to START a new life. She PLANS to stay in NY for one year, and THEN she will come TO her country. She likeS N.Y. because IT is a beautiful AND big city. HER favorite place in the world is VENICE. She always TEXTS while she is walking,  but she never TEXTS while she stayS relaxing.



---

(original version)

My classmate's name is Luci Martinez. She is from Peru. Her mother is dead and her father is retired.
her father live in Peru. Her father is 94 years old.Her father is very lenient, he always is peaceful.
She favorite subject was history because she like about the history her country.She come to New York to a new life.She planes to stay in NY for one year and she will come her country.She like NY because is a beautiful an big city.She favorite place in the world is Venetian.She always text while she is walking,but she never text while she stay relaxing.

Lucy Martinez

Lucy,

Thanks for writing about your partner Carmen, who comes from a long country where the seasons are the opposite of here.

You should read the NEW VERSION I have posted below and learn from the CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. There are only a few, but in writing small mechanical elements are important. Focus on them to improve your writing and grammar for speaking too.

Your sense of humor makes this enjoyable to read.


(new version)


I HAVE MET A new partner.  HER (capital H because it's a new sentence) name is Carmen Vergara. Her MOTHER is A secretary and her father is dead.

They live in Chile.Her MOM is 55 yearS old. She TOLD me her MOM is very strict WITH all the childREN.

Carmen TOLD me her favorITE SUBJECT was math because she likes numbers. Carmen came to New York because SHE MISSED her sister and TO study English (capital E). She has a PLAN to stay one year. She TOLD me SHE likeS New York (capital N and Y) because IT IS a beautiful CITY, and her favoritE place is Italy. She said SHE never textS when SHE is walking, only when she is driving.




(original version)

I met new partner her name is Carmen Vergara. Her mather is secretary and her father is dead.
They live in Chile.Her mam is 55 year old. She tall me her mam is very strict whit all the child.
Carmen tall me her favory asigment was math because she likes numbers. Carmen came to New York because missing her sister and study english. She has a plane to stay one year. She tall me like new york because es a beautiful country, and her favority place is Italy. She said never text when is walking only when she is driving .


       Hi, I am Riny Bramana. I would like to introduce you to a new student. her name is Thitima. her father has die, and her mother has a bookstore. she's mother live in Thailand. her mother is 44 years old . her mother and her father is a lenient. her favorite subject was art, because her teacher is so nice. her come to New York to study English, so improve of her job. her going to stay here until 1 or 2 years. her like new york beacuse someone people has crazy and her so scared. she's favorite place in the world is her bed in Thailand, because her has a big family. she sometimes text while her walking, but her always text while her driving.

Paris Guillermo

Guillermo,

Thank you for writing about Diana, who likes biology. I wonder if she has been to the Galapagos, that uniquely diverse place in her country.

Please look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. You will find some CHANGES. I wrote them in CAPITAL LETTERS so they are easy to see.


(new version)


Hi my name is Guillermo. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Diana. SHE (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) is from Colombia, and her parents ARE too. Her father is from Bogota and her mother is from Ipiales. a town near Ecuador. HER (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) mother is 57 years old , and her father is 60 years old. SHE sayS her mother is lenient but her father is very STRICT (not "stricts." In English, adjectives are never plural). 

Her favorite subjet was BIOLOGY. SHE (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) came to New York to study and work. SHE IS  going to stay here until she finishES her studIES, and their children grow up. She thinks New York is a nice city. SHE is happy here. Her favorite place in the world is Chicago, because OF ITS buildingS, and she likeS so much the lake, and her love lives there. She writes textS while walkING. She can't stop to write while SHE walks.



----

(original)

Hi my name is Guillermo,
             I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is ..Diana she is from Colombia, and her parents too. Her father is from Bogota and her mother is from Ipiales a town near Ecuador, her mother is 57 years old , and her father is 60 years old, she say her mother is lenient but her father is very stricts.
             Her favorite subjet was the biology, she came to New York to study and work ,she  going to stay here until she finish her study, and their children grow up. She thinks New York is a nice city, she is happy here. Her favorite place in the world is Chicago, because their building, and she like so much the lake, and her love lives there. She writes text while walk. She can't stop to write while walks.

Juan Felipe Sierra and Francisco Aviles

Juan Felipe,

Thank you for writing about your partner. Everyone is different. It is the variety of people that makes our class fun. It also gives a lot of opportunities to learn new things.

Please look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. To make the CHANGES easy to see, I have written them in CAPITAL LETTERS.

(new version)


FRANCISCO'S (Don't forget "apostrophe" before possessive "s")  parents lives in Medellin. They (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start every sentence with a CAPITAL LETTER)
have restaurants there. HIS (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start every sentence with a CAPITAL LETTER) father is 63 years old,  and his mother is 56 years old. He SAID that his parents are so strict and his favorite subject when he WAS in the high school was GYM. Francisco CAME to N.Y.C. looking for a better job and he is PLANNING TO LIVE the rest of his life here. HE (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start every sentence with a CAPITAL LETTER) thinks that N.Y.C .is a good city to find new opportunities and start a new life   

Francisco SAID that his FAVORITE (not "favorites." In English, "adjectives" are never plural) place in the world is his bed. He never textS when he walks because he IS USED TO WALKING.   ("is used to walking" means "is accustomed to walking." I'm not sure that is what you meant, but it is a suggestion). 




(original version)

Franciscos parents lives in Medellin,they have restaurants there his father is 63 years old and his mother is 56 years old.He saw that his parents are so strict and his favorite subject when he were in the high school was GYM.Francisco come to NYC looking for a better job and he is planing live the rest of his life here.he thinks that NYC is a good city to find new opportunities and start a new life  
Francisco saw that his favorites place in the world is his bed.He never text when he walks because he use to walk.

Jeniffer Pena with Tatiana Zamudio



Tatiana,

Thanks for writing about Jeniffer. Like several other students in our class, she is interested in science, specifically anatomy, a subject connected to the career in nursing she wants.

Please take a look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. There are CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. You should read them and see the differences from the original. That is a good way to learn.

In fact, there are just 4 changes.


(new)


I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Jeniffer. Her mother is a housewife and her father is an asbestos remover. They are living in Queens. Her mother is 38 years old and her father is 43 years old. Her mother is lenient and her father is very strict. Her favorite subject was anatomy, because she likes the human body. She came to New York to study for a new career as a NURSE. She is going to stay here until she finishes her education. She likes New York, but it is a little crazy for her. HER favorite place in the world is HER great-grandmother’s house, because she cooks FOR her many delicious foods.

She doesn’t text while she is walking.


----

(original)

I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Jeniffer. Her mother is a housewife and her father is an asbestos remover. They are living in Queens. Her mother is 38 years old and her father is 43 years old. Her mother is lenient and her father is very strict. Her favorite subject was anatomy, because she likes the human body. She came to New York to study for a new career as a nursing. She is going to stay here until she finishes her education. She likes New York, but it is a little crazy for her. Your favorite place in the world is the great-grandmother’s house, because she cooks to her many delicious foods.

She doesn’t text while she is walking.