bagel

name:sean ko
teacher:kevin

it is for practicing writing!
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I am seeing a bagel

It was bought from a street vender

It is really tasteless

I threw bagel in a garbage basket on the street



Ah...



I've forgotten a meaning of my life since sometimes

actually I did not know meaning of life from beginning

I just have lived to depend stream of society

every face looks faint like fog

everything is fog to me



I am floating in that fog



sometimes I've left home without reason

from a house with roaches



It is a mysterious thing when I saw a roach which moved in

darkness



how?



they have desire to live?



but maybe it is a crazy who live happily with roaches



someone said to me



nothing is the teaching of Tao



According to their teaching I am a very good student

Because I live without object, will, desire in dirty city

I can't find my reason of life



But also I don't have the reason of death



"...."



I am gazing at the sky without reason



"Shwaaa.."



It is falling rain in autumn

My body that was cold by wind is warming by rain



I have stood for a while in rain



How thankful



Rain teaches me with that contact that I am alive

Because sometimes I forgot that I am alive



Sometimes I've heard meaningless class in school

Of course actually It is not meaningless



There is a lot of many time of laughing, and witty answer

Also I laughed, sometimes and asked something



But it is just a change on my face

If someone laughs fakely, at that time eyes do not move

But until now nobody ask me "why are you laughing?

even if you don't find anything funny?"



Often laughing is a social skill



If you don't want alone in some group

You can just laugh when others are laughing

You can just weep when others are weeping



It is easy



As school ends my face returns to emtionlessness

and then the day recycles without change



"hello"



"!"



someone touches my world that is filled with fog



slightly unpleasant



I don't like my body that returns to the real world

Just don't bother me!



but my face talks and smiles



"Hello?"



"We are from church, we have bagels and coffee, You can

enjoy it. God love You"



"Ah... thanks"



I take the bagel and coffee that bright young woman gave me



And after two blocks



I threw it in garbage can



When I threw the coffee it struck and the spilled coffee is

making white steam



I go my own way without any feeling



On street one of the pigeons has died; it was struck by a car



It is like paint which is copied from the 3rd dimension



The pigeon is sticking like wall painting



Rain has stopped and sun has started to shine



This time is most beautiful



The scene, shine slays my lovely rain



That beautiful shine destroys my world where I can contact

The rain by warming, light but dryness



Before I knew it mothers go out with their children in a park

Maybe here is a village where Chinese,Indian and

Japanness live



But children are innocent



Strangely there are tears in my eyes when I have seen



those children



........



that night



I am sitting in bed my dark room

Sometimes I touched the wall

Sometimes I pick up the phone



"GGiikk"



it is certainly that ugly, fat, disgusting woman lives

next to my room.



She has a little burned skin and she is fat in her whole body,

her voice is like man



She always wears sunglasses.well..



It is a little ridiculous She likes to wear black pants, and golden

bracelet



I cover my ear by my hand in silence



"Bumm"



As I expected the door closes with a large noise



She always close the the door loudly



While is silience



This time I heard the sound of the kid who lives in the front room

playing



A spanish family lives there, There are three kids

Sometimes I meet the husband in the hallway,

He is a smart guy but he is not yet thirty



I wonder why he is still young but has three children



But after I heard some Spanish married very early I understood



I turn on the T.V



A small square sends out light and sound in darkness



There is Cartoon, "South Park", on channel 11



One kid plays with fire then he is burned on it, goes to hospital



But he dies so...


I wake up thinking "maybe there is are more story"



Before I knew it morning came in



I slept on the couch insensibly



...



I have a shower and prepare to go to school



Cold air,it looks as if autumn has already gone



Autumn is getting short



But autumn ought to give me time to prepare for winter



It is cold



Wind is blowing coldly



Everyone wears thick clothes



In my case I wear just blue jeans and a white T-shirt



I pass a way filled with pigeon excrement



There is a picture from a public night club on the way



with naked women who say," it is natural people are naked!"



Gazed foward with a sexy look



"Ruslte"



I step past that picture and walk



"Ah..."



So it is there on the right side



I can see steam in the cold air



All people walk up and down with some stuff



"Hello, God loves You"



Unintentionally, I get a bagel



Actually, I am also hungry



I bite the bagel



I feel the taste of the shapeless and chewy bagel and sweet



cream chees,



"delicious"



I bite again and drink coffee



Coffee is mild and deep, and warm



The pigeons are a lighting to eat pieces of bagel.