Jeniffer Pena with Tatiana Zamudio

Tatiana,

Thanks for writing about Jeniffer. Like several other students in our class, she is interested in science, specifically anatomy, a subject connected to the career in nursing she wants.

Please take a look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. There are CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. You should read them and see the differences from the original. That is a good way to learn.

In fact, there are just 4 changes.


(new)

I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Jeniffer. Her mother is a housewife and her father is an asbestos remover. They are living in Queens. Her mother is 38 years old and her father is 43 years old. Her mother is lenient and her father is very strict. Her favorite subject was anatomy, because she likes the human body. She came to New York to study for a new career as a NURSE. She is going to stay here until she finishes her education. She likes New York, but it is a little crazy for her. HER favorite place in the world is HER great-grandmother’s house, because she cooks FOR her many delicious foods.

She doesn’t text while she is walking.

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(original)

I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Jeniffer. Her mother is a housewife and her father is an asbestos remover. They are living in Queens. Her mother is 38 years old and her father is 43 years old. Her mother is lenient and her father is very strict. Her favorite subject was anatomy, because she likes the human body. She came to New York to study for a new career as a nursing. She is going to stay here until she finishes her education. She likes New York, but it is a little crazy for her. Your favorite place in the world is the great-grandmother’s house, because she cooks to her many delicious foods.

She doesn’t text while she is walking.