Paris Guillermo

Guillermo,

Thank you for writing about Diana, who likes biology. I wonder if she has been to the Galapagos, that uniquely diverse place in her country.

Please look at the NEW VERSION of your writing below. You will find some CHANGES. I wrote them in CAPITAL LETTERS so they are easy to see.


(new version)

Hi my name is Guillermo. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Diana. SHE (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) is from Colombia, and her parents ARE too. Her father is from Bogota and her mother is from Ipiales. a town near Ecuador. HER (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) mother is 57 years old , and her father is 60 years old. SHE sayS her mother is lenient but her father is very STRICT (not "stricts." In English, adjectives are never plural). 

Her favorite subjet was BIOLOGY. SHE (You should end every sentence with a PERIOD and start a new one with a CAPITAL LETTER) came to New York to study and work. SHE IS  going to stay here until she finishES her studIES, and their children grow up. She thinks New York is a nice city. SHE is happy here. Her favorite place in the world is Chicago, because OF ITS buildingS, and she likeS so much the lake, and her love lives there. She writes textS while walkING. She can't stop to write while SHE walks.

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(original)

Hi my name is Guillermo,
             I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is ..Diana she is from Colombia, and her parents too. Her father is from Bogota and her mother is from Ipiales a town near Ecuador, her mother is 57 years old , and her father is 60 years old, she say her mother is lenient but her father is very stricts.
             Her favorite subjet was the biology, she came to New York to study and work ,she  going to stay here until she finish her study, and their children grow up. She thinks New York is a nice city, she is happy here. Her favorite place in the world is Chicago, because their building, and she like so much the lake, and her love lives there. She writes text while walk. She can't stop to write while walks.