Thitima,

Your partner, Rina, the new student in our class, has a lot to contribute. So do you. Thanks for writing. 

Please read the new version of your writing I have posted below. It has some CHANGES in CAPITAL LETTERS. 


(new version)

 Hello, I'm Thitima. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Riny. Her mother is a housewife and her father has A FOOD MARKETING business. Her mother is 44 years old and her father is 54. Her father and her mother are lenient. Her favorite subject was SOCIOLOGY (or SOCIAL SCIENCE) because she WANTS to connect to her people. She came to New York to study English and DOES NOT HAVE a plan to stay in New York. She LIKES New York and she THINKS New York is A good city. Her  favorite place in the world is her home in her country,Indonesia. She sometimes TEXTS while she is walking and RIDING A motoRcycle.


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(original version)

   Hello, I'm Thitima. I would like to introduce you to a new student. Her name is Riny. Her mother is a housewife and her father has business about Food market. Her mother is 44 years old and her father is 54. Her father and her mother are lenient. Her favorite subject was social because shewant to connect to her people. She came to New York to study English and do not has a plan to stay in New York. She like New York and she think New York is good City. Her  favorite place in the world is her home in her country,Indonesia. She sometimes text while she is walking and ride motocycle.