Yuyun
I would like to introduce you to Jayden.He is 30 years old,and comes from Seoul,South Korea.He arrived NY 5 months ago.He likes to read comic book and marvel book.He likes sport,for example,handball,swimming and basketball.He is the first to NY.He will stay NY one year to study english.He is very nice.He works for tire company as manager.His dream is to be a international trader.He want to improve his english.His friend who live in New York suggested him to NY to learn english.That is why he chose NY.He studies hard.He took english program both LaGuardia and YMCA.
posted by the blog at 5:01 PM
1 Comments:
Yuyun,
Thank you for writing about your classmate, Jayden. I have corrected your writing. Please read it (below) and compare it with the original:
I would like to introduce you to Jayden.He is 30 years old and comes from Seoul, South Korea. He arrived in N.Y. 5 months ago. He likes to read comic books and Marvel book (actually, I think Marvel books are comic books. Marvel is a company that makes comic books, for example, Spiderman). He likes sports,for example, handball,swimming and basketball.He is in N.Y. for the first time. He will stay here one year to study English.
He is very nice. He works for a tire company as manager. His dream is to be an international trader.He want to improve his English. His friend who lives in New York suggested he come to NY to learn English. That is why he chose NY..He studies hard. He takes (took?) English programs at both LaGuardia and the YMCA.
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