for Josef

Thanks for writing about Alfredo, an inspirational man.

I have written your paragraph again below. Please take a look and see the differences from the original.

You should watch the past tense verbs especially. 

 

from the teacher:

Some things about Alfredo Quinones....
     He was born in Mexico in a little farming community. When he was 5, he was working with his father in a gas station, but twenty years ago he came to the U.S.A.

     He became a teacher when he was 18, but his father didn't have a good job, and Alfredo made the decision to move to the U.S.A like so many relatives before him.  He was a nonlegal immigrant, and he became a migrant farm-worker. He bought  a mobile home (called a camper) for  three hundred dollars, and he lived there.

 

original:

Somethings about Alfredo Quinones....
     He born in Mexico in a little farming community,
when he was 5 he was working whit his father in a gas station, but Twenty years ago he come to USA.
     He become a teacher when he was 18, but his father doesn't have a good job and Alfredo made the decision, he moved to USA like so many relatives before him.  he was a nonlegal emigrant and he became a migrant farm-worker, he buy  a little house like a camp for three hundred dollars, and he live there.