Main Idea____________________Joanne
Steve Jobs created a great personal computer model with windows in and it was sold well. May be he and Apple adapted some of Xerox PARC’s ideas for a different audience; may be not, anyway he didn't do his creation easily because creative process is very difficult and there is no efficient way.
posted by the blog at 5:18 AM
1 Comments:
Joanne,
Your first and second sentences catch the main idea of the article, but the word "maybe" isn't necessary. The third sentence is well-written and interesting but the meaning isn't central to the article.
Here is the corrected version of your message:
Steve Jobs created a great personal computer model with windows, and it was sold well. Maybe he and Apple adapted some of Xerox PARC’s ideas for a different audience and may be not. Anyway, he didn't do his creation easily because the creative process is very difficult and there is no efficient way.
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