Karina's post

Barack Obama


 Barack Obama,who is the 44th
President of the U.S of America,is also the winner of the
 2009 Noble Peace Prize.He,who made history in 2008 when he
 won the U.S presidential election,is the first African
 American to be President.Obama,whose
 charisma,intelligence,and powerful speeches have made him
 extremely popular with many Americans,has been very
 successful with his messages for change


correction:

He,who made history in 2008 when he
 won the U.S presidential election,is the first African
 American to be President.


- The structure of your sentence is correct, but in general you can't use a pronoun (he, she, it, etc.) in this situation.


The correction is: Obama, who made history in 2008 when he  won the U.S presidential election, is the first African American to be president.

There should be a period (.) at the end of the last sentence. Minor but necessary.



 After having been in New York for four years he
 moved to Chicago and worked as the director of a community
 project from 1985 to 1988.


There should be a comma (,) after "years. The structure of the sentence you wrote is perfect.


Then he entered Harvard Law School
 and became the first black president of the Harvard Law
 Review. Obama taught law at the University of Chicago Law
 School for twelve years and then become an Illinois Senator
 in 1996 In 2004.

The structure of the  two sentences is also 100% correct, but the verb "become" should be past tense. "Become" is the base form.


He was elected as a U.S Senator,and has supported legislation on
 conservation,energy,immigration and honest leadership,which
 is currently battling with serious issues such as the
 economy,the global credit crisis and war in Iran and
 Afghanistan.

There should not be a comma after Senator because the subject (he) is the same in the first part of the sentence and the second part.

This is correct: He was elected as a U.S Senator and has supported legislation on....

 If you use "he" again (repeat the subject, you can use a comma.

This way is also correct: He was elected as a U.S Senator, and  he has supported legislation on... (notice ", and HE has..)

The "which" is incorrect. Remember, "which" is for things not people. A solution is to omit "which" and the comma (because now there is no new subject):

This is correct: conservation,energy,immigration and honest leadership and is currently battling with serious issues such as the
 economy,the global credit crisis and war in Iran and Afghanistan.

But again, your sentence demonstrates understanding of the complex construction.

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy
 and cooperation between peoples


That one is also perfect, except for the absence of a period at the end. Punctuation is important. Speaking and writing are different, as you know. You speak well and with practice your writing will catch up with your speaking and may even advance beyond it.