Monday, April 25, 2016

Zunilda and Alinton



Barack Obama,who is the 44th president of the United States of America, is also the winner of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.Obama,  made history in 2008 when he won the U.S presidential election. He is the first African American to be President. His charisma,intelligence,and powerful speeches have been extremely popular with many Americans. He has been very successful with his message for change.


Obama,who moved to Chicago after four years in New York,worked as the director of a community project from 1985 to 1988. He entered Harvard Law School and became the first black president of the Harvard Law Review and he taught law at the University  of Chicago Law School for twelve years. He became an Illinois senator in 1996.


Obama , who was elected as a U.S.Senator in 2004. He supported legislation on conservation, energy,immigration,and honest leadership,is currently battling with serious issues such as the economy,the global credit crisis and wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between people.

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Zunilda and Alinton,

This is well done. The sentences are constructed well. There is only one error that I can find. In the fourth paragraph, there should be "and" between "leadership" and "is currently battling."

Another minor suggestion  is that you leave a space between a comma and the next word. For example,  "the economy,the global credit crisis" should be "the economy, the global credit crisis."

Overall, your writing- your transformation of the article from class- looks professional quality, which is needed for success in a career using English.

For other students, remember that it isn't necessary to do all four paragraphs. I recommend just one, three and four. Skipping number two is okay, but including it is fine too.

I recommend in addition that you write about yourself here as you wrote about your partner. That isn't homework but a good idea if you have extra time- good practice and we would all like to read it.

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