Preeyaphat and July,

You have successfully described the important points of Alfredo's life. Your summary is like a book condensed to a short story. I like that you mentioned the words of his cousin. I think- as I told other students- that the conversation with his cousin gave Alfredo motivation to change his life. In a way, his story divides into two parts, before and after talking to his cousin. Your reading skill shows in your ability to see that key point.

Here are some suggestions about your sentences.

-The 3rd and 4th sentences of the first paragraph should be one sentence, with "but" in the middle and a comma (,) before "but." "But" is a "coordinating conjunction" and can't be at the beginning of a sentence, only in the middle.

- The 2nd sentence of the second paragraph doesn't need "was." Just "he picked cotton" is correct.

-The last sentence of the second paragraph should have "and" instead of "or."

-The verbs in the 1st sentence of the last paragraph should be past tense, ending in "ed."

-"Suggested him to study" should be "suggested he study"

-"And" is a "coordinating conjunction" (like "but") and can't begin a sentence. I suggest you omit"and" from the beginning the 2nd sentence of the last paragraph and put "and" between "scholarship" and "he developed."

Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa was born in Mexico. He came to the USA twenty years ago. He was an illegal immigrant. But now, he is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University.

His first job in the United States was as a migrant farmworker. He was picked cotton, tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken-down camper he bought for $300. But one day, his cousin told him he would be a farmworker for the rest of his life, or he realized it was time  to move on.

 

He study in English class, and his teacher suggest him to study in the University of California,Berkeley.And he got a scholarship, he developed a passion for the scientific method. Quinones-hinojosa went on to Harvard Medical School. It is also during this time that he received his U.S. citizenship.

Luisa Rodas and Chia Hsiang Fan

Luisa and Chia Hsiang,

The excellent thing about your summary is that you wrote it in your own words. You made new sentences. That's an excellent way to learn. 

Most of your sentences are correct. I have copied the summary below with changes:


ORIGINAL:


Dr. Alfredo Quinones-Hinjosa

         He born in Mexico, and entered illegally to U.S.. His first job was in small little gas station.

His family was poor during those early years of his life, but they always had enough to eat.

Later, his father couldn't even put food in his table. At 18 yeas old, Alfredo was trained as a

teacher, but he couldn't earn enough to support his family. After trying twice to enter U.S.

 illegally, he made it. he started to work in the fields as a migrant farm worker. After that, he had

many different  jobs, and started to study English as a second language at night. After, a big

accident in his job, he finished community college. Then Alfredo enrolled at UC Berkeley. He

majored in psychology and his mentors encouraged him to go Harvard for medical school.

That's where Alfredo Quinones became a U.S. citizen. Now, after study very hard, he is a

neurosurgeon, teacher and researcher at John Hopkins University.


WITH CHANGES:

Luisa Rodas and Chia Hsiang Fan

Dr. Alfredo Quinones-Hinjosa

         He was born in Mexico, and entered the U.S.  illegally. His first job was in a small gas station. ("little gas station" is also correct, but not "small little"- if you want to find a word for "very little," try "tiny").

His family was poor during those early years of his life, but they always had enough to eat.

Later, his father couldn't even put food in his table. At 18 years old, Alfredo was trained as a

teacher, but he couldn't earn enough to support his family. After trying twice to enter the U.S.

 illegally, he made it. He started to work in the fields as a migrant farm worker. After that, he had

many different  jobs and started to study English as a second language at night. After a big

accident in his job, he finished community college. Then Alfredo enrolled at U.C. Berkeley. He

majored in psychology and his mentors encouraged him to go Harvard for medical school.

That's where Alfredo Quinones became a U.S. citizen. Now, after studying very hard, he is a

neurosurgeon, teacher and researcher at Johns Hopkins University.

Luisa Rodas and Chia Hsiang Fan

Dr. Alfredo Quinones-Hinjosa

         He born in Mexico, and entered illegally to U.S.. His first job was in small little gas station.

His family was poor during those early years of his life, but they always had enough to eat.

Later, his father couldn't even put food in his table. At 18 yeas old, Alfredo was trained as a

teacher, but he couldn't earn enough to support his family. After trying twice to enter U.S.

 illegally, he made it. he started to work in the fields as a migrant farm worker. After that, he had

many different  jobs, and started to study English as a second language at night. After, a big

accident in his job, he finished community college. Then Alfredo enrolled at UC Berkeley. He

majored in psychology and his mentors encouraged him to go Harvard for medical school.

That's where Alfredo Quinones became a U.S. citizen. Now, after study very hard, he is a

neurosurgeon, teacher and researcher at John Hopkins University.

Preeyaphat Janlen

July Medina

Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa was born in Mexico. He came to the USA twenty years ago. He was an illegal immigrant. But now, he is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University.

His first job in the United States was as a migrant farmworker. He was picked cotton, tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken-down camper he bought for $300. But one day, his cousin told him he would be a farmworker for the rest of his life, or he realized it was time  to move on.

 

He study in English class, and his teacher suggest him to study in the University of California,Berkeley.And he got a scholarship, he developed a passion for the scientific method. Quinones-hinojosa went on to Harvard Medical School. It is also during this time that he received his U.S. citizenship.

Maria and Hyunseung,

This summary of the article about romantic love works well. You re-tell the main ideas concisely.

Here are some suggestions about sentences:

"So" is a conjunction, so it can't begin a sentence (except in informal writing). You should instead put a comma (,)  before it. Even better, omit it. It isn't necessary here.

The penultimate sentence of paragraph two should end like this: (...compared two groups, one composed of people who had just fallen in love and the other composed of people who were just single or in steady relationships." (That's a difficult construction, even for a native English speaker).

The last sentence should have "the study," not "a study," because there was only one study ("the study"  suggests there was more than one).

Romantic Love    (Feb.21.2013)

Italian scientists have found that the chemical in the brain which makes us romantic disappears over a year. So, resarchers forme the University of Pavia discovered that levels of a chemical(NGF) increase when a person first falls in love.

Dr. Enzo Emanuele of Research leader analyzed 58 volunteers who had recently fallen in love. They found increased levels of NGF in the new romantics when they compared two groups that a group fallen love and another group just single and in steady relationships. All of the volunteers in a study had a starry look in their eyes.

Beata and Fior,

I like the way you divided this into two parts, one telling her history and the other detailing her present and future prospects. That works well.

-The first sentence should be "Yuja Wang is a pianist."

-Youtube is the name of something, so you shouldn't put "the" before it, as you wouldn't say, "Our teacher is the Kevin."

Otherwise, there are no errors at all, just well-composed sentences.

•  Is pianist. She started tinkering with the instrument when she was about 6. Her first concert was at the age of 7, when her feet still dangled from the chair. Her earliest public performances took place in China, Australia and Germany. All of her childhood performances are on the YouTube. When she was 18, she had carved out an interesting niche for herself  as a kind of pinch hitter. 

 
• Now at 22, Wang is heading a project of her own: Her debut CD, "Sonatas and Etudes", has been nominated for a Grammy. The future looks promising for this 22-years old. She loves music and presents herself as a serious musician. 

Aleum and Xiang,

You've gotten the key points of the article. It could use a little more detail, for example about his work as a community organizer in Chicago.

-African-American is the correct form.

-"Obama has studied at Harvard University after he studied at Cloumbia University" has the wrong verb tense. It should be "simple past tense" (Obama studied") not "present perfect" because you specify a past time. 

-"Columbia" is misspelled. (It's easy to check spelling on the computer, and you should always do it). 

-There should be a comma (,) not a period (.) after "In 2004." 

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America.

 

He is the first afican American to be President. Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 to a black Kenyan father and white American mother. Obama has studied at Harvard University after he studied at Cloumbia University. Obama's charisma, intelligence, and powerful speeches have made him extremely popular with Americans.

 

In 2004. Obama was elected as a U.S Senator. He supported legislation on conservation, energy, immigration and honest leadership. He won the Nobel Peace Prize for his "exraordinary effort..

Angelica and Lorenzo, 

You selected the important points from the article.  I especially like that you included the comment from his cousin that motivated Alfredo.  That seemed to me as well a turning point in his life. 

The first sentence needs an article. It should be "a former illegal immigrant." 

You need a period (.) after "immigrant" because it is the end of the sentence. "Cross" should be past tense (crossed). 

After "camper," you need a period (.) Be careful not to end sentences with commas (,). If that is your habit, you should break it. 

"Take a decision" has the wrong very and the wrong tense.  It should be "made a decision."

"Decision" is misspelled. 

"Start" has to be past tense (started). 

"In this time" should be "At this time" (English prepositions are difficult). 

"US" is incorrect. "U.S." is correct. 

Alfredo Quiñones was former ilegal immigrant, about twenty years ago he cross from Mexico to USA and became a migrant farmworker.

He picked cotton, tomatos and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken down camper, one day his cousin told him he would be a farmworker for the ret of his life, he take a decicion to change his live.

He start to study English at a community college,but quiñones developed a passion went on to harvard Medical School, in this time to study he received his US citizenship.

Today he is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University.

Faber and Carlos,

You did a good job correcting your summary in class. You missed only one punctuation error.

Otherwise, the summary is well done, shows comprehension and ability to organize ideas effectively.

The first paragraph is two sentences, not just one, so you should put a period (.)  between them, not a comma (,). Those are not emoticons, by the way.

Alfredo Quinones  was an illegal  immigrant from Mexico , 20 years ago he came to  the United States of America and became a migrant farmworker.

Today, he is a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer. Also he is a neurosurgeon and a professor at Johns Hopkins  University.
He was born in a little community in Mexico, and by 5 years old , he was working at his father's gas station. 
When Mexico's economy collapsed ,Quinones's father could no longer keep food on the table for the family. Quinones continued studying and became a teacher  by the time that he was 18.

 He came to the U.S . and signed up for English classes. He went to Harvard Medical  school, where he eventually delivered the commencement speech.It is also during this time that revived his U.S. citizenship

juan lin yoyo and amber

Yoyo and Amber,

You use the vocabulary from the story well to re-tell it. Your personal comments in the first and last paragraph add to the reader's interest.

I have some suggestions about punctuation and other things:

A. Omit the colon (:) in the first sentence.

B. Don't forget the article (a) in the second sentence.

C. You shouldn't shorten "years" to "yrs" in a composition. It's okay in e-mail.

D. "We can hear" is correct. After "can" and other modals, (will, should, etc.), you have to use the base form of the verb. That rule is 100%.

E. You should put a title in quotations (Sonata and Etudes should be "Sonatas and Etudes" because it is the title of the CD.

F. "in same age" should be "the same age."

G. "share this story to" should be "share this story with" (prepositions in English are very tough, as you know).

juan lin yoyo and amber

Our favor story is : the pinch hitter Yuja Wang .
                She was born on February 10 1987 in Beijing .She from comes from musical family.She began tinkering with the key at 6 yrs old .She entered Beijing's Central Conservatory of Music at age seven and studied there for three yrs. She had a heap of intensive traing and a concern when she was 7 yrs old.We can heard her childhood performances on Youtube.She began playing professionally when she was 10.Her first CD was Sonatas and Etudes .it has been nominated for a Grammy.From 1998 to 2008 she won lots of prizes.
                We love this story and experience because we are almost in same age .It will be nice to share this story to everyone.

Giannis and Victoria,

Your summary begins well, with a sentence that goes directly to the main point of the article. After that, you add detail to support it.  The four paragraphs neatly tell the story.

Let me make some suggestions.

A.  "In the 1970s" is correct. According to the article, the Mexican economy didn't collapse in one year but in several.

B: "to hop" is correct. After "to" you can't add "ed" or in any other way change the verb- except in a few very rare cases (for example, "He was used to going to work in the evening").

C: The last sentence of the 3rd paragraph is confusing. The word "it" doesn't have a clear meaning.

He is a neurosurgeon, professor at Johns Hopkins University and a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer.

 He was born in Mexico at 60 miles south of U.S border. When he has 5 years old, he was working at his father's  gas station. In 1970 Mexico's economy collapsed. Alfredo Quiniones continue his schooling  and became a teacher by the time he was 18 and he was unable to provide his family. For this reason he decided   to hopped a border fence from Mexico into the U. S .

In U.S he became a migrant farmworker. When His cousin tell him he would be a farmworker for the rest of his life he realized it was time to move on and he signed up for English classes at a community college. There, a teacher encouraged him to attend the university of California, Berkeley. Then he went on to Harvard Medical School and delivered it is also during this time that he received his U.S citizenship.

Quiniones says he owes so much of his success to the many people who have extended a hand to him  throughout his life. 

Thipsuda and Georgianna,

Your summary about Alfredo is accurate and informative. I suggest you put the main idea in the first sentence. The main idea is not that he is from Mexico. The main idea is your second sentence, It should be the first sentence.

The sentences are correct except for this one.

"He was unable to provide for his family too like his father and made the decision to head north."

Correct:  He was unable to provide for his family like his father and made the decision to head north.

In the last paragraph, attended should be past tense. 

      Mr. Alfredo Quinones is from Mexico. He is a neurosurgeon  and professor at John Hopkins University, and a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer.

      His life started in Mexico. When he was 5 years old he was working at his father 's gas station. When the Mexico's economy collapsed his father could no longer keep food on the table for the family ,but he continued his schooling and became a teacher by the time he was 18; he was unable to provide for his family too like his father and made the decision to head north.

      He hopped a border fence from Mexico into the United States and became a migrant farm-worker. He picked cotton , tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken-down camper. When his cousin told him he would be a farm-worker for the rest of his life , he realized he have to move on.

     He did English classes at a community college and he attend the University of California, Berkeley. At Berkeley he went there with a scholarship. He went on to Harvard Medical School. By that time he received his U.S. citizenship.

Xiangiao and Kadriye,


Your summary gives the key points of Dr. Quinones' life. It indicates clear understanding of the story. As a summary, it is strong. The only problem is that the sentences are not in your own words.


There were just two errors. I've written a new version with some changes:
 



      Alfredo Quinones is a neurosurgeon and professor  at Johns Hopkins university. He was born 60 miles south of the U.S border. When he was 5 years old working at his father's gas station. In the mid-1970s, Mexico's economy collapsed,and his father could no longer keep food on the table for the family, Hinojosa continued his schooling and became a teacher by the time he was 18. 
 

                Hinojosa picked cotton, tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in borkendown camper he bought for $300. When his cousin told him he would be a farm worker for the rest of his life, he realized it was time to move on.

                He signed up for English classes at community college, where a teacher encouraged him to attend the University of California, Berkeley. At Berkeley on scholarship, Quninoes-Hinojosa developed a passion for the scientific method. He went on to Harvard Medical school, where he eventually delivered the commencement speech. It is also during this time that time that he received his U.S citizenship. 

Teacher's re-writing:

      Alfredo Quinones is a neurosurgeon and professor  at Johns Hopkins university. He was born 60 miles south of the U.S border. When he was 5 years old, he worked at his father's gas station. In the mid-1970s, Mexico's economy collapsed,and his father could no longer keep food on the table for the family. Hinojosa continued his schooling and became a teacher by the time he was 18.

 

                Hinojosa picked cotton, tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in broken down camper he bought for $300. When his cousin told him he would be a farm worker for the rest of his life, he realized it was time to move on.

 

                He signed up for English classes at community college, where a teacher encouraged him to attend the University of California, Berkeley. At Berkeley on scholarship, Quninoes-Hinojosa developed a passion for the scientific method. He went on to Harvard Medical school, where he eventually delivered the commencement speech. It is also during this time that time that he received his U.S citizenship.

Ferda,

Your summary of Barack Obama's life is well done. It is a pleasure to read. The subject and your writing are excellent.

I found two errors:


incorrect: After, Obama moved to Chicago.
correct: After that, Obama moved to Chicago.

incorrect: There, he worked the director community project

correct: There, he worked as the director of a community project. 

  Barack Obama is the 44th president of The United States of America. Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961. His father was a black Kenyan and mother was an American. His parents divorced and his mother married an Indonesian man.

         Obama majored in political science and international relations at Columbia University in New York. After , Obama moved to Chicago. There, he worked the director community project from 1985 to 1988.

         He became the first black president of the Harvard Law Review. In 2004, Obama was elected U.S senator. He won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Viriya and Katherine,

Your summary includes the main elements of this man's remarkable life. Grammar and spelling are correct, and so is punctuation. I recommend that you don't write ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. Also, using your own words is a good idea.

After "Mexico" in the first sentence, you put a comma (,) but it should be a period (.) because it is the end of the sentence. 


ALFREDO QUINONES WAS BORN IN MEXICO,HIS FIRST JOB WAS IN HIS FATHER'S GAS STATION, WHEN HE WAS  5 YEARS OLD.HIS GRANDMOTHER WAS A VILLAGE HEALER AND A MIDWIFE.

HE CAME TO THE UNITED STATES IN 1989,HE HOPPED A BORDER FENCE FROM MEXICO INTO THE UNITED STATES AND BECAME A MIGRANT FARM WORKER ,HE BECAME A TRAINING TEACHER WHEN HE WAS 18 YEARS OLD.

THAT TIME HE WAS STUDIED ENGLISH AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE,WHERE A TEACHER ENCOURAGED HIM TO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA,BERKELEY.

HE WENT ON HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL,WHERE HE EVENTUALLY DELIVERED THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH. IT WAS THE SAME TIME THAT HE RECEIVED HIS U.S. CITIZENSHIP

QUINONES SAYS HE OWES SO MUCH OF HIS SUCCESS TO THE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXTENDED A HAND TO HIM THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE.

Maria & Hyunseung Lee

Romantic Love    (Feb.21.2013)

Italian scientists have found that the chemical in the brain which makes us romantic disappears over a year. So, resarchers forme the University of Pavia discovered that levels of a chemical(NGF) increase when a person first falls in love.

Dr. Enzo Emanuele of Research leader analyzed 58 volunteers who had recently fallen in love. They found increased levels of NGF in the new romantics when they compared two groups that a group fallen love and another group just single and in steady relationships. All of the volunteers in a study had a starry look in their eyes.

Beata and Fior

                                              Yuja Wang

•  Is pianist. She started tinkering with the instrument when she was about 6. Her first concert was at the age of 7, when her feet still dangled from the chair. Her earliest public performances took place in China, Australia and Germany. All of her childhood performances are on the YouTube. When she was 18, she had carved out an interesting niche for herself  as a kind of pinch hitter. 

 
• Now at 22, Wang is heading a project of her own: Her debut CD, "Sonatas and Etudes", has been nominated for a Grammy. The future looks promising for this 22-years old. She loves music and presents herself as a serious musician. 

                                 

ALeum and xiang

obama

 

 

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America.

 

He is the first afican American to be President. Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 to a black Kenyan father and white American mother. Obama has studied at Harvard University after he studied at Cloumbia University. Obama's charisma, intelligence, and powerful speeches have made him extremely popular with Americans.

 

In 2004. Obama was elected as a U.S Senator. He supported legislation on conservation, energy, immigration and honest leadership. He won the Nobel Peace Prize for his "exraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."

Angelica - Lorenzo

Alfredo Quiñones was former ilegal immigrant, about twenty years ago he cross from Mexico to USA and became a migrant farmworker.

He picked cotton, tomatos and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken down camper, one day his cousin told him he would be a farmworker for the ret of his life, he take a decicion to change his live.

He start to study English at a community college,but quiñones developed a passion went on to harvard Medical School, in this time to study he received his US citizenship.

Today he is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University.

Faber- Carlos

Alfredo Quinones :

Alfredo Quinones  was an illegal  immigrant from Mexico , 20 years ago he came to  the United States of America and became a migrant farmworker.

Today, he is a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer. Also he is a neurosurgeon and a professor at Johns Hopkins  University.
He was born in a little community in Mexico, and by 5 years old , he was working at his father's gas station. 
When Mexico's economy collapsed ,Quinones's father could no longer keep food on the table for the family. Quinones continued studying and became a teacher  by the time that he was 18.

 He came to the U.S . and signed up for English classes. He went to Harvard Medical  school, where he eventually delivered the commencement speech.It is also during this time that revived his U.S. citizenship

juan lin yoyo and amber

Our favor story is : the pinch hitter Yuja Wang .
                She was born on February 10 1987 in Beijing .She from comes from musical family.She began tinkering with the key at 6 yrs old .She entered Beijing's Central Conservatory of Music at age seven and studied there for three yrs. She had a heap of intensive traing and a concern when she was 7 yrs old.We can heard her childhood performances on Youtube.She began playing professionally when she was 10.Her first CD was Sonatas and Etudes .it has been nominated for a Grammy.From 1998 to 2008 she won lots of prizes.
                We love this story and experience because we are almost in same age .It will be nice to share this story to everyone.

Giannis & Victoria

Alfredo Quiniones Hinojosa 

He is a neurosurgeon, professor at Johns Hopkins University and a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer.

 He was born in Mexico at 60 miles south of U.S border. When he has 5 years old, he was working at his father's  gas station. In 1970 Mexico's economy collapsed. Alfredo Quiniones continue his schooling  and became a teacher by the time he was 18 and he was unable to provide his family. For this reason he decided   to hopped a border fence from Mexico into the U. S .

In U.S he became a migrant farmworker. When His cousin tell him he would be a farmworker for the rest of his life he realized it was time to move on and he signed up for English classes at a community college. There, a teacher encouraged him to attend the university of California, Berkeley. Then he went on to Harvard Medical School and delivered it is also during this time that he received his U.S citizenship.

Quiniones says he owes so much of his success to the many people who have extended a hand to him  throughout his life. 

Thipsuda Muenpho, Georgianna Tekirdagli

Alfredo Quinones- Hinojosa

      Mr. Alfredo Quinones is from Mexico. He is a neurosurgeon  and professor at John Hopkins University, and a researcher who is looking for a breakthrough in the treatment of brain cancer.

      His life started in Mexico. When he was 5 years old he was working at his father 's gas station. When the Mexico's economy collapsed his father could no longer keep food on the table for the family ,but he continued his schooling and became a teacher by the time he was 18; he was unable to provide for his family too like his father and made the decision to head north.

      He hopped a border fence from Mexico into the United States and became a migrant farm-worker. He picked cotton , tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in a broken-down camper. When his cousin told him he would be a farm-worker for the rest of his life , he realized he have to move on.

     He did English classes at a community college and he attend the University of California, Berkeley. At Berkeley he went there with a scholarship. He went on to Harvard Medical School. By that time he received his U.S. citizenship.

xiangxiao and kadrye

                                                                                          Alfredo Quinones

                Alfredo Quinones is a neurosurgeon and professor  at Johns Hopkins university. He was born 60 miles south of the U.S border. When he was 5 years old working at his father's gas station. In the mid-1970s, Mexico's economy collapsed,and his father could no longer keep food on the table for the family, Hinojosa continued his schooling and became a teacher by the time he was 18. 

                Hinojosa picked cotton, tomatoes and cantaloupes, and lived in the fields in borkendown camper he bought for $300. When his cousin told him he would be a farm worker for the rest of his life, he realized it was time to move on.

                He signed up for English classes at community college, where a teacher encouraged him to attend the University of California, Berkeley. At Berkeley on scholarship, Quninoes-Hinojosa developed a passion for the scientific method. He went on to Harvard Medical school, where he eventually delivered the commencement speech. It is also during this time that time that he received his U.S citizenship. 

ferda

       

         Barack Obama is the 44th president of The United States of America. Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961. His father was a black Kenyan and mother was an American. His parents divorced and his mother married an Indonesian man.

         Obama majored in political science and international relations at Columbia University in New York. After , Obama moved to Chicago. There, he worked the director community project from 1985 to 1988.

         He became the first black president of the Harvard Law Review. In 2004, Obama was elected U.S senator. He won the Nobel Peace Prize.

VIRIYA & KATHERINE

ALFREDO QUINONES WAS BORN IN MEXICO,HIS FIRST JOB WAS IN HIS FATHER'S GAS STATION, WHEN HE WAS  5 YEARS OLD.HIS GRANDMOTHER WAS A VILLAGE HEALER AND A MIDWIFE.

HE CAME TO THE UNITED STATES IN 1989,HE HOPPED A BORDER FENCE FROM MEXICO INTO THE UNITED STATES AND BECAME A MIGRANT FARM WORKER ,HE BECAME A TRAINING TEACHER WHEN HE WAS 18 YEARS OLD.

THAT TIME HE WAS STUDIED ENGLISH AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE,WHERE A TEACHER ENCOURAGED HIM TO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA,BERKELEY.

HE WENT ON HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL,WHERE HE EVENTUALLY DELIVERED THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH. IT WAS THE SAME TIME THAT HE RECEIVED HIS U.S. CITIZENSHIP

QUINONES SAYS HE OWES SO MUCH OF HIS SUCCESS TO THE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXTENDED A HAND TO HIM THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE.

 Jiwen and Sungeun,

Your summary is accurate and informative everywhere but in the second half or the first sentence ("but he just wanted to become a migrant farm workers twenty years ago"). If you change "wanted to" to "was," it is accurate. 

The grammar and punctuation are fine except for the last sentence of the first paragraph ("So he had to head north.") "So" cannot be the first word of a sentence. "So" is a conjunction (like "and" and "but," and connects sentences in the middle. The correct sentence is: "He became a teacher by the time he was 18, but he was unable to provide for his family, so he had to head north."

 

 Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa  is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University, but  he just wanted to become a migrant farm worker twenty years ago.He was born in Mexico,and by age 5, he was working at his father's gas station.He became a teacher by the time he was 18, but he was unable to provide for his family.So he had to head north.

       He lived in the fields in a broken-down camper he bought for $300. He signed up for English classes at a community college. He went on to Harvard Medical School.Then he received his U.S. citizenship

Jiwen And Sungeun

                                 

                                 Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa

        Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa  is a neurosurgeon and professor at Johns Hopkins University, but  he just wanted to become a migrant farmworker twenty years ago.He was born in Mexico,and by age 5, he was working at his father's gas station.He became a teacher by the time he was 18, but he was unable to provide for his family.So he had to head north.

       He lived in the fields in a broken-down camper he bought for $300. He signed up for English classes at a community college. He went on to Harvard Medical School.Then he received his U.S. citizenship.

feedback for Daniela and Rosangel

 Daniela and Rosangel,

Your two paragraphs accurately summarize the article about the pinch hitter. It might be better to add one sentence that gives the idea of her pinch hitting. That's the title of the article ("Pinch Hitter"), so it's an important idea. You might write, for example, "Yuja performed for other pianists when they were unavailable."


This history is about a girl. She started play to piano when she has six years old. She was the usual child-virtuoso. When she has seven years old she did her first concert. She was nominated for a Grammy for her first CD was Sonatas ans Etudes.

She likes concerts because she can take the music in aurally ans visually. In de future you can see in the Grammy and in New York Bureau. Additionally, you can see her videos in youtube.

----

Your summary had very few errors, corrected here:

This history is about a girl. She started play to piano when she has six years old. She was the usual child-virtuoso. When she has seven years old she did her first concert. She was nominated for a Grammy for her first CD, which was Sonatas and Etudes.

She likes concerts because she can take the music in aurally and visually. In the future, you may be able to see her win a Grammy award and in the New York Bureau. Additionally, you can see her videos on youtube.

(I'm not sure what you mean by the New York Bureau. Can you explain what that is?)

Daniela and Rosangel

This history is about a girl. She started play to piano when she has six years old. She was the usual child-virtuoso. When she has seven years old she did her first concert. She was nominated for a Grammy for her first CD was Sonatas ans Etudes.

She likes concerts because she can take the music in aurally ans visually. In de future you can see in the Grammy and in New York Bureau. Additionally, you can see her videos in youtube.

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